I went to Sydney last week to deal with some personal issues. After finishing the necessary stuff, I was wandering at the central of Sydney and thinking how to spend the rest of time before going back to Canberra.
Walking across the Pitt St, I was suddenly attracted by a blooming tree standing between these old buildings. It is conspicuous compared to its backgrounds – the modern skyscrapers, the historical buildings and even the dirty surroundings on the street. Between these numb objects, I saw exuberant life.
I’ve been being accompanied with a feeling of ‘screwing up’ : sometimes something is so broken can never be fixed. Sometimes something is so difficult to start it over. Sometimes something is so horrible to get through.
I’ve been being caught by that feeling for a long time before. It was like a vicious circle that couldn’t get rid off – you proposed an assumption, you broke it through, and you came back.
When I was in Sydney that day, I was figuring out how to solve this problem based on my previous experiences that it couldn’t last for several days. I realized that I can’t overcome it anyway.
So why not just leave it to time and go back to simple life I had when I was young – I do whatever I want.